Just so I know who actually knows that I have changed where my blog is  please cab you leave a comment on the newest enrty of mine......it needn't be a big thing. all you really need to do is leave your name.

I'm gonna let it allow anonymous comments so you won't have to join up to say something to me.

just go to this link to get to my new blog.......    --------> http://jaylivered.blogspot.com/" title="http://jaylivered.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"http://jaylivered.blogspot.co...

   I am tired of how slow this thing is and how glitchy it is too so I have made a new address at a diff place.

   you can find it at http://jaylivered.blogspot.com/" title="http://jaylivered.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"http://jaylivered.blogspot.co... 

Hope i remain as enjoyable as ever :D :D

   I forgot to have a shower so I'll just have one in the morning. I am sure someone noticed when I went out but at the time I was having to much fun to care..... I'm also too tired to care. As I said, or I think I said earlier, I spent the last two nights at Tom's house. NO..... I know what you are thinking and NO. I'm not tired for those reasons. I'm tired because 1) I always find it hard to get to sleep in a different place the first few times and 2) Tom is a restless sleeper. I can handle loud noises easily; Living with 3 younger siblings does that to you....its just the little noises that keep me awake.

   In the time that I have lived here have stayed over at many a friends house and one thing I have noticed is that you all sleep so differently. Some curl up into balls, some make themselves their own little cocoon out of their blanket......thought I'd just type that now. It had just popped into my head so I thought, "why not just type it?".

    Btw.... DAY 7 . ....all I can say is that Abstinence sucks (did I spell that right?). I'm started to have the weird sex dreams again. My dreams are weird enough without there suddenly being a weird sexual undertone. The last thing I need is to be on my dreamboat only to float past an animated cartoon duck(think of Tom and jerry meets South Park) giving it to the to that hot woman from desperate housewives.

   I finished a whole side of pork....or whatever it was not so long ago. Mum had cooked it and said that I could eat it all. I'm thinking that she had planned on cooking a nice meal but then the torchlight put a halt to her planning.

   The torchlight thing was GREAT. I went with Yasmin's "Crew" *giggles to self* and Lindy Lyndz. Their weird crazyness made me laugh. I hadn't planned on going out at all 'cos I'm so tired but Yasmin rang the doorbell and insisted I go out with them. You all know what I'm like so it was obvious I would cave in. The only times that I can manage a no is when I am really tired or I have something else that really needs doing.

   Last bit now, promise you. On my way home tonight I bumped into Braddy. He was walking to passions on his own. Normally I wouldn't mind talking to him but I was SO sleepy I just wanted to get home, It was then that I realised how utterly boring he can be. 3 times I tried to breakt the conversation with a "I really must get going" but gosh darnt it....I can't help being chatty to people. He invited me somewhere on the monday, some barn he's renting for a party, but I know I won't be see him then. I told him I didn't know what my number was so if he wanted to set anything up that he should ask someone we both know. I didn't get a guilty pang then because I genuinely don't know my number and because I didn't really think he wanted me to go. It had probaly just been a reflex asking.

   Sash's 18th on the 18th. I think I'll probably go. The worrying thought is that this may be the only 18th I go to this year because ALL of my friend have gone and left kirkbie so there are no links left. I'm not sure I care though cos it'll just be a bunch of jock parties. I'll have college 18ths to go to anyway methinks......although they may just be a bunch of fags and hags.

   I am surprisingly happy right now. The stress of my parental divorce and the horror of HUGE change ( leaving kirkbie...and such ) don't seem to bother me at all right now. I'm on an untouchable pedastal of happiness right now which nothing can touch. Its surprising what seeing a few people can do to me :D . Almost everyone that I have seen since wednesday have made me SO happy. I think I'll just end my blog now, get a drink and go to bed.

   Infact I shall. NN all......... I love you all :D :wink: :D :wink:  :D  

   Just got back in just now. Where have you been I hear you ask.......well now boys and girls.......if I told you....that would be telling.

    Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Wednesday night Tom rang me and invited me round to his for a little get together he was having. All together I think that 7 people were there. There was Tom, Me, Dan W, Briget, Alan, Fish and Ben. OH and boothy too. I had fun despite some animosity that my highly developed emo senses were picking up. I took half a bottle of scrumpy (appley cider juice.......yukksomes but 7.5% alc). Crashed at Tom's. Woke up the next day with a stonking great hangover.

   The next day(thursday), Tom and I went to Asda to get some some food cos his fridge had been cleared out. We stopped at my house for 5 mins whilst I changed my bear sodden shirt for some clean ones. I grabbed some ready meals aswell. Hung out with Tom all day and crashed at his house again. Overall it was great.

   .....gonna go have a shower cos I feel grimey....... i'll give you more details later

    21:23

   Right now I am watching this program this program on BB2. "No Sex please, we are teenagers". It’s SO FUNNY. So far its just a bunch of ugly teenagers that wouldn't have got any sex and a gay guy that says he's not gonna have sex with girls because its wrong. I was sat there thinking "you are so gay........just admit it" *tries to figure out what the fast beeping noise then realizes it’s his Gaydar*.

   It's been SO LONG since I last got drunk. I think that's why I keep feeling rotten. As soon as I start getting paid for my placement at Eden I am gonna go get so drunk that I pass out. I have to have a few drunken nights over here; I have been to other peoples and got drunk so I need to have people round here. Mark is going to be taking the kids away again during the half-term. Mum will be here with me but I should be able to get her to go somewhere.....maybe even get her to go out with her mates for abit of drunkenness. She would probably be able to bunk at her mates for a few nights too.

   OMG....I'm roasting in here. The lights are on so each time I lean forward hot white light shines on my head. It’s just like those lights that are used to keep food warm or to hatch eggs.

   This song makes me go into a weird BBW mode. If you can name which song it is then you shall receive my eternal worship and adoration. This is such a brilliant song. I love it with all of my insides.

Oooh, yeah

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Hey, yeah, hey, yeah

What's it gonna be?

'Cause I can't pretend

Don't you wanna be more than friends?

Hold me tight and don't let go

Don't let go

You have the right to lose control

Don't let go

I often tell myself

That we could be more that just friends

I know you think that if we move too soon

It would all end

I live in misery when you're not around

And I won't be satisfied

Till we've taken those Vows

There'll be some lovemaking

Heart breaking, soul shaking

Love, oooh aah

Lovemaking, heart breaking

Soul shaking

What's it gonna be?

'Cause I can't pretend

Don't you wanna be more than friends?

Hold me tight and don't let go

Don't let go

You have the right to lose control

Don't let go

I often fantasize the stars above, oh, a chill

They know my heart and speak to yours

Like only lovers do
If I could wear your clothes

I'd pretend I was you, and lose control

There'll be some lovemaking

Heart breaking, soul shaking

Love, oooh aah

Lovemaking, heart breaking

Soul shaking

What's it gonna be?

'Cause I can't pretend

Don't you wanna be more than friends?

Hold me tight and don't let go

Don't let go

You have the right to lose control

Don't let go

Running in and out my life

Has got me so confused

You gotta make a sacrifice

Somebody's gotta chose

We can make it if we try

For the sake of you and I

Together we can make it right

Whats it gonna be?

Can't keep running in and out of my life

Out of my, out of my life

More than friends, oh, oh, oh

Hold me tight and don't let go

Don't let go

You've got the right to lose control

You've got the right

I said you've got the right to lose control

Yeah, yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Don't break up 'cause I can't take it

What's it gonna be?

'Cause I can't pretend

Don't you wanna be more than friends?

Hold me tight and don't let go

Don't let go

You have the right to lose control

Don't let go

Don't let go     (fade out)

18:48

   *Sighs a deep sigh* Just my luck. I start talking to someone and the internet goes off.....or should I say mum restarted it so I know have to wait for it to auto-fix itself. I'm not really that bothered....It's just that I had just started talking to Ben. We'd only just started the conversation and were part way into the "how are you's" when it went.

   Today has been a really shit day. It wasn’t as boring as yesterday but it was still really shit. I was gonna ring Tom, I'd even said I would but then Tyler told me not to. (Tyler is that voice that puts doubt in me.....and other such emotions). I thought I best give him a name seeing as I always think of him........*growls at Tyler*.

------------------------- ------------------------- ------------------------- -------

19:10

   Right now I am watching the News *yawns at self* They are telling me about the flooding and devastation in New Orleans. I feel bad for all the people there but I'm not sure I really.......how do I put this....care. I mean it’s all so far away and there are so many natural disasters, acts of terrorism, and fears of super diseases that I think I have lost that bit of me that actually paid it any attention. omg....I'm a monster of a person to think that. I'm just gonna change the channel and hope there is something nicer on.

   Nope.....there is nothing for me to watch. Here, I'll show you what’s on right now? .....nothing but mind numbingly boring stuff.

BBC 1 = Watchdog (Lets me know bout terrible companies and the bad things they    & nbsp;   &n bsp;     

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;        have been doing)
BBC 2 = Light Fantastic (Boring program telling me about light)

ITV 1 = Emmerdale (its okay sometimes but the people on it get under my skin)

Channel 4 = News (YAWN.......more tales of the terrible things that ppl are doing to

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;        other people and how the world is pretty much fucked)

   Normally I would just go to sleep but I can't because I have to get my sleep patterns fixed to ordinary times instead of sleep all day and awake all night.

------------------------- ------------------------- ------------------------- -------

19:30

    Right now I am regretting lending Tom my favorite Xbox games. I think the reason I am so bored is because I don't have them to play with. I have gone off "Yahooing" with other people so I must have been on the Xbox a lot more. I think that I'm gonna have to dig out my GBA.

   I feel so much better now. The last time I blogged I felt like I would moider somone. Parents are really pissing me off now. ARRRGH. Before I was at a 7 for anger and frustration but now i'm at about a 3. Which is still pretty high because I am never angry....well almost never. The highest amount of anger i get to is normally just a one. I tend to feel all of the other many emotions instead.....you know.....bla.

   Gonna go eat my ready meal now

 I'm gonna be celibate .........no sex, no wanking........not even light touching. Well, apart from what can't be helped like when you wake up with your hand where it shouldn't. I' hoping this will make me much happier . I could start today but the last time I even touched myself was Saturday morning at like 1am. Right now its Tuesday at 1:30am.....I've been 3 days.

   This is gonna be SO TOUGH.......harder than ramadan......cos now its not going to be for just a month......its gonna be til........I'm 18.....at the least. I better not pop.

I'm such a fucking pig. Ive eaten 2 magnums, a fab and 2 minc choc cones. I'm on my third now......

   Devdas is on Tv tonight. I remember many a lonely hour I spent watching it over and over again.............. It's time to hit the icecream.......

   I weigh more than Fishwick.

 *Dies* .......I think I die to much in my blog. *slips into a self-induced comatose state by overdosing on Mint choc chip icecream* If there are no tubs of ice cream them me thinks I might just "Irish up" the ice lollies or summit.

   OH dear god. I am so unfathomably bored. Today seems to have moved along so slowly that every second has been a minute and every minute has been like an hour. Right now I am sat up in my room typing this. No, I know what your thinking but I haven’t got a computer in here now. I'm typing this up on my laptop. Well, it's not my laptop, it’s my mums but the amount of time that I am on it and she isn't it might as well be mine. I think she's forgotten that it’s up in my room. She must have because normally when I put something up in my room it doesn't stay up here much longer than a week.....Unless she is trying to buy me with it. If she is then it’s a very poor attempt because this thing is a pile of shit. Besides, she doesn't need to buy me, I'm automatically on her side during this divorce whether I like it or not. I just know I'm going to be stuck with my family for much longer than I'd like. I remember planning to move out but that’s as good as dead now.

   Right now I am listening to Missy Elliot. It certainly does feel different listening to her instead of my usual Metallica, Dream Theater, DragonForce and NightWish. It almost feels like a distant memory. So distant in fact that when I do remember it I swear it could just be a minor case of de ja vu........ What the hell am I on about!? I think I should have a lay down or something..........well, not lay down. I'm already lying down on my bed.......but I'm sure to get my idea.

   I've just changed the way I am lying down but all that I have managed to do is squish my manly parts against the zipper of my jeans and give myself a dead leg. The "parts to zipper" moment was quite worrying for a few seconds because I’ve just had a shower and had decided to "free ball" it. I'd forgotten how comfortable it can feel, especially seeing as my room is like an oven tonight.  I'm roasting summit awful right now and the lights aren’t even on. If they had been on I no doubt would be dead by now from dehydration or some other heat related ailment.

   OH! I forgot to mention in my blog earlier why I wasn't at college today. The short version is that I don't need to go in this week because I am doing an apprenticeship. The long version involves me telling you about me walking up to the college. I'll just skim the highlights of it though so you know just what, very few, interesting things have happened to me. Well, on the way to college I saw the GORGEGOUS Aimee Roberts on her way to school. We had a brief chat then went our separate ways but I couldn't resist checking her out as she walked away.......WOW.

   I bet she has really ugly parents though. A lot of the people that I think are hot have ugly parents. I feel sorry for them because they will end up looking like their parents. If you ever want to know what you gf/bf are going to look like when they get older then just look at their parents.

   I keep reminding myself that I'm going to go bald when I'm older. Damn genetics. Nearly every single male in my family is bald. The only ones that aren’t bald are either too young for it to have set in yet or they have married into the family. I don't know what I'm going to do when I lose my hair. I'm going to have to have one of those terrible baldish hairstyles that nearly all black models seem to have. I hate it SO MUCH. The only things I hate more are those dread that stick to people heads (like Ali from Holyoake’s (how do you spell it?)) and Afros. I only very rarely think people look good in them and they are usually the people that look good no matter what hairstyle they have. A good example is Halle Berre. So far I have only met one person that doesn’t fancy the pants off her......but he’s gay so :P.

   Mum just came in. I am glad to see that they are finally knocking then waiting for me to reply before they enter. I have found that the only way I can get them to listen to what I say is to shout at them. Childish I know...but if that’s the easiest way to get them to listen then so be it.

   I am starting to feel really shit right now. Even watching the polar bear on TV eat that seal isn’t making me laugh. Creepy I know but I tend to laugh at the scariest things when I am on my own. It's not because I am a psychopath or anything.....that doesn’t affect my sense of humor. It’s because I have a habit of giving things their own little voices in my head. I'd decided that the polar bear should sound French and to repeat himself. The seal was given a very "blond" voice. I sometimes do that with real people as well. But that’s only when I feel either really crappy or when they are talking about something which I don't understand, am not a part of or don't want to be a part of.

   I would make such a brilliant evil wizard. I figure that deep down I am pretty power hungry because I have "those empty spaces that fill me up with holes" inside me....so it makes sense. The internet tarot lady said that I would either live a life a great emotional hardship involving unrequited love or I would reach new heights giving me power over a great many people. I'm not sure I should believe her though because I met her in a chat room.

   I'm going to finish this now. I have been bored of my own typing for at least 10 mins now so you must have stopped reading ages ago........god I am so boring. *dies*.......don't wake me.....just leave my corpse there. This corpse can't be bothered to read through it either so I hope the mistakes weren’t too big.

HOLY CRAP ON A FUCKING STICK!!!!!

I just did a HUGE ENTRY and Tblog just FUCKED IT UP. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG H. That took me almost an hour to do!!!! You better fucking start fixing it or I'm going round to where you live and breaking some skulls.

   Oh for christs sake!!! I was so open and....arrrrgh

ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY MONKEY.